Sinners in the hands of a sassy and legalistic God

Road rage...

Highway 316 connects Atlanta/I-85 and Athens, GA, home of the Bulldawgs and my alma mater, the University of Georgia. It is one of the most boring stretches of road I have ever driven. And while I haven't driven across Texas, I have driven through Kansas (and even the vile Missouri) and I think that I hate 316 more. At least on I-70, you don't have to stop at lights every 10 seconds.

Today I went up to Athens to say goodbye to some friends and an old dance professor of mine. And on my way up there I saw one of the infamous "God" signs that some well-meaning person paid to have erected. And by "well-meaning person," I mean FOOL. A series of these huge black billboards dot this stretch of North Georgia monotony, blank except for a little white text "note" from God. I can't tell you how many times I've driven past these but, for some reason, today was the day that I really got pissed.

Here's the text of the offending sign:

What part of "Thou Shalt Not" didn't you understand?
-God


You know, you have to be careful around that billboard because people will just leap from their still-moving cars and throw themselves on their knees begging for forgiveness and asking Jesus to come into their lives. I tell you, lives are transformed on 316.

Oh, wait. That doesn't happen.

What kind of message is this sending non-believers? Does it speak of a God whose love knows no bounds? Does it tell of His mercy and grace that led to the sacrifice of His Son, so that we might know Him? Does it indicate that forgiveness is available to any who call on His name and repent? Does it proclaim the beauty and intimacy of having a relationship with the One who created the universe?

NO. According to this billboard, God is a jerk. He is sarcastic like a bad sitcom character. He is uninspired and uninspiring. He is a cranky old man who wants you to stay off His grass, because His top concern is that you follow His rules; if you do that, you and He are copacetic.

The sponsoring party behind this monstrosity hasn't the courage to even put their name on the sign. They give no address, no website, no phone number where people can go with questions. They probably decided on a slogan, patted themselves on the backs in appreciation of their wit, shook hands with the ad agency, and toddled off to lunch at the Golden Corral, fat and happy that they did their part in communicating God's word to the heathen student drivers heading back to Athens (appropriate in the Greek, hedonistic sense).

But instead, they have missed the mark entirely. In trying to be "hip," in trying to be "relevant" by writing in sassy teen-speak, they have painted a picture of a God that no one would want to be around, much less give their lives to. With misguided, self-righteous Christians like these at work, who needs Satan?