If John the Baptist were a Redneck Rapper...

My name is John the Baptist (I’m a Presbyterian.)
I spend my day a’dunkin’ sinners in the searing sun.

My suit is made of camel; a camel made my suit.
My favorite snack is locusts—you should try ‘em…sure beats fruit!

First ya wash ‘em in the river (they’re less chewy when they’re wetter)
Then a dip in wild honey…yep, the wilder the better!

People come from every corner to my desert dipping spot.
Most jump in to please Jehovah; Some jump in because it’s hot.

I tell them that He’s coming, one who’s wilder than me.
We’re not worthy of his toenails, yet He’ll die to set us free.

I tell ya, He’s a-comin’! Just repent, for goodness sake!
He’ll baptize you as I do, but with spirit, not with lake.

And for those who choose to follow Him, it’s not an easy way.
Who knows? Your head might even wind up neckless on a tray.

NAH!

I’ve got a strong suspicion, if you follow, you’ll be poor.
But, bet your bottom dollar, it’s adventure, that’s for sure!

For He’ll wow you more than money can, and you’ll get your reward
Here on earth and then in Heaven: You’ll be kickin’ with the Lord!